Men's Journal

I read very few magazines these days. I used to read a lot: Reader's Digest, Golf, Golf Digest, the random male entertainment rag (note that I read them). The only magazine which consistently captures my interest these days is Men's Journal. The publisher is Jann Wenner, who made his mark at Rolling Stone (and was portrayed by Eion Bailey in Almost Famous, which was basically an homage film to the mag).

The current issue has a usual assortment of intriguing articles. In particular, Matt Taibbi writes about the greatness of the ugly athlete, saying that most high paid, high powered athletes are too pretty to be truly effective at their craft. He points out several examples of ugly beasts (as my 15 year old would say) in notable divisions (Swamp Thing Division: Tayshaun Prince; Area 51 Division: Sam Cassell). The hero of the article, though is a baseball player:

"Then there’s Kevin Youkilis. Youk has only three body parts, all hideously oversized: an enormous set of gnomish, bushy forearms; a massive, casaba melon–size white head; and a cauldronlike belly. He has a truly awesome bristle of thick red chin hair that makes his face look like a cross between a vagina and something out of The Hobbit. At the plate he disgustingly gushes sweat by some means previously unknown to science in which the moisture travels upward along his body, racing in a cascade from his balls and armpits up his neck, over his head, and back down over the bill of his helmet to shower the plate. Whereas a guy like Teixeira was born with a swing so gorgeous you want to paint it, Youkilis fighting a middle reliever to a nine-pitch walk looks like a rhinoceros trying to fuck a washing machine. "

There's also an noteworthy column about the impact of the lowly emerald ash borer on our nation's pastime. The wood of choice for major league bats is ash. This insect is infesting all the major ash growing regions of the US. In a few years, we will likely have to import the wood or switch to maple, which tends to explode more forcefully than ash when subtle cracks are hit by 90 mph fastballs.

Finally, the issue has an article about building the perfect workshop and the power tools needed to stock it. I like the 18 volt Makita drill with the litium ion battery. You just can't have too many $200 drills.

For Taras

Scott Engle of St. Andrew UMC in Plano, TX posts many of his sermons and classes on the web at http://www.thebibleacademy.com/. He is teaching a series now about the dramatic license often employed when Hollywood portrays biblical history. This last Sunday, he talked about his perspective on the work of Bart Ehrmann. He also discussed why he believes the current translations of the Bible are more accurate than previous versions. In fact, he said that no one today should use either the King James Version or the New King James Version. Both are based on a Greek manuscript translated by Erasmus from Hebrew in the early 1500's. At the time, only a handful of original Hebrew manuscripts were known to exist. Today, we have over 5,000 which have been used to update the English translations.

Scott sounds a little like Gomer Pyle. If you can get past that, he presents logical, scholar based arguments about how our current Bible came to be and why we should trust its message.

So What?

As we are in the Easter season, it is fitting and proper to reflect on the true meaning of Christianity. I believe that there is progress, that today is better than yesterday, that there is one far off divine event to which the whole creation moves. I believe in the resurrection of the body, my body, as a result of the sacrifice of Jesus. His resurrection eliminates our death, our separation from God.

In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul speaks at length about belief in the resurrection of Jesus as the core of Christianity. Scott Engle (St. Andrew UMC, Plano, TX) discusses why this is important:


'You’d think that after Paul brings his argument to its grand climax in v. 54-57, he would go on to talk about our glorious future with God in the restored and renewed cosmos, the new heavens and earth, but he does not. Instead, with the chorus, “Where, O death, is your victory?” still ringing in our ears, Paul writes, “Therefore . . . your labor is not in vain.” My work for Jesus is not a waste of time? That’s the big “so what” of Easter and resurrection?

In a word, yes. Too many Christians have this idea that we get through this life so we can get on to the next life, where we can leave all this behind and enjoy some sort of eternal, disembodied bliss. However, the biblical story is not about a world left behind, but a world put right. Easter doesn’t point us toward some faraway place we imagine to be “heaven,” but to the marriage
of heaven and earth in this place.'

The message from Paul is as relevant today as it was when he wrote it 2,000 years ago. The far off divine event is, in my view, spiritual peace here and now. It's closer than we think.

Domino Ipso Corona

2:27 to You, Man.

Economical History

This article by Scott Reynolds Nelson, a history professor at William & Mary, compares the economic crisis of today with the crisis of the Long Depression, which began in 1873 and lasted 7 years. He attributes the cause of the depression to lax mortgage lending in Europe which resulted in inflated real estate prices plus easy credit offered to the various industries involved in building the transcontinental railroad in the US. He also says that the Industrial Age had its roots in this depression by allowing those with capital (Rockefeller, Carnegie et al) to buy their competitors at rock bottom prices.

"In the end, the Panic of 1873 demonstrated that the center of gravity for the world’s credit had shifted west — from Central Europe toward the United States. The current panic suggests a further shift — from the United States to China and India."

The Wikipedia article about the Long Depression attributes the cause to inept politics in the US and abroad. Both sources are probably somewhat correct.

So, what's the crystal ball show for us hard working Americans here in the US of A? Probably several years of lackluster economic growth, if not economic decline. In a capitalistic system, markets continually seek to minimize cost for commodity functions. This ultimately results in asymmetric distribution of wealth. As we see more job functions outsourced to lower cost locations, there will be fewer high paying jobs in the US until the market creates the need for new job functions. In the meantime, the global market will begin to force to live within our means by restricting the amount of investment in the US. We won't be able to continue to spend at the same pace. As our consumption wanes, less developed countries will also cut back because they will sell less to us.

What will break this model? Siphoning off non performing assets (ie over valued mortgages and the related derivatives) so that our financial intermediaries can resume normal operations. The current environment proves that we don't study history as we seem to endlessly repeat it.

Let's hope that those in Washington remain distracted with corporate bonuses to the extent that they let the free market fix this problem. Maybe we will then survive to witness the next round of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness Of Crowds.

Simply Knot True

I have been incorrectly tying my shoes my whole life. Most of us, especially those who were scouts, learned in our youth a couple of basic knots, the granny and the square. We learned that the square knot generally holds stronger and longer than the granny knot.

After reading this article, I realized that I have been tying my shoe laces with a granny knot pretty much ever since I learned to tie. Was probably taught to do so by my mother (was once accused of also being taught by my mother the art of hygienic cleansing at the completion of the defecation cycle; that's a story for another time).

In order to tie laces in a square knot, I first cross the laces by looping the right lace over the left. I then make a loop with the right side, then cross the left side over it, I then poke the looped-over left side up through the resulting hole and pull it through to the right.

Dress laces in particular have been a problem in the past. For some shoes, I have tied a double knot just to keep my shoes tied. I am finally freed from the inconvenient nuisance of the double knot.

Is this a great country, or what?

Blue Star for blue collars

All of us have on occasion felt the discomfort of chapped, inflamed epidermis. Blue Star ointment is a topical treatment that relieves some of this discomfort. At the local Ace Hardware store today, I discovered a new and inexpensive preventative remedy.

By absorbing excess moisture and gently lubricating sensitive areas, Anti Monkey Butt Powder fosters nearly chap-free skin on skin contact. No longer will we suffer through the humiliation of the bow-legged, simian stride that results from excessive sweat and friction induced chafing.

It boggles the mind to think how different history might have been had such a product been available in yesteryear, before modern hygiene techniques were commonly employed. With a generally less irritable population, the Civil War might have been reduced to the Civil Squabble. the Burr/Hamilton duel might been merely an arm wrestle, the Gunfight at the OK Corral might been the Adjudicated Debate of Tombstone, Arizona.

As I continue to wonder why fortune smiles on some but lets the rest go free, please pause for a moment of silent thanks that we live in America in a time when ingenuity and opportunity know no bounds.